MORE EMPLOYER TALK

 

We're all fluent in this modern language. It's what we use when we want to exaggerate a little bit on our resumes or applications. It's also what we adopt when we're looking for a new person to join our company -- or not. Here's one interpretation of this secret labour code that appears in classified ads, cover letters, and resumes:

• "COLLEGE DEGREE PREFERRED:" Unless you wasted those four years studying something useless like philosophy, English or religion. Poli-Sci, Econ......
• "CAREER-MINDED:" Female Applicants must must be childless (and remain that way).
• "APPLY IN PERSON:" If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.
• "NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE:" We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
• "SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE:" You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
• "PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:" You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
• "REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS:" You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
• "GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:" Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do.