- "Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder: What the #$&@* was I thinking?"
- "Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife."
- "How could two people as beautiful as you have such an ugly baby?"
- "I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I've changed my mind."
- "I must admit, you brought religion in my life. I never believed in hell until I met you."
- "As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that you're not here to ruin it for me."
- "If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it's your sister."
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