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"Thanks for being a part of my life! I never knew what evil was before this!"
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"Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go, would you like to take this knife out of my back? You'll probably need it again."
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"Someday I hope to get married, but not to you."
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"Happy Birthday! You look great for your age - almost life like!"
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"I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my best friend. So here's his leash, water bowl and chew toys."
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"We have been friends for a very long time, what say we call it quits?"
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"I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're here."
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"Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who the father was?"
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