- People ask what colour your hair USED to be.
- You're proud of your lawn mower.
- Your best friend is dating someone half their age AND isn't breaking any laws.
- You start singing along with the elevator music.
- You really do want a new washing machine for your birthday.
- Your car has four doors.
- You routinely check the oil in your car.
- You've owned clothes so long that they've gone back into style - TWICE.
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