- I'm not at home today, and I might not be home tomorrow. So please leave a message after the tone. I didn't take a shower today, and I might not take one tomorrow. So if you don't leave a message after the tone, you might have to deal with me in person.
- I'm only here in spirit at the moment, but if you'll leave your name and number, I will get back to you as soon as I'm here in person.
- I'm sorry but my answering machine is out of order. I am leaving a broken CD player in its place. It can't take messages either. In fact, it can't even play you a nice tune while you wait to not leave a message.
- I'm sorry; my answering machine is out of order. May I take a message?
- I'm unable to take your call in person because I'm having an out-of-the-body experience. In fact I'm standing right behind you and I can hear everything you say. But leave me a message anyway to help me reconnect when I get back.
- I'm writing the definitive work on pain. I would like you to tell me how this machine makes you feel. Remember, be honest. This is for posterity.
- Just put on a recording of a busy signal.
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