Monday, October 17, 2011

MORE FUNNY ANSWERING MACHINE MESSAGES...

 

  • Thank you for reaching out to us. Nobody is home now. However, if you leave a message, we'll reach out and touch you.
  • Thanks for calling Dial-A-Shrink. I can't come to the phone right now, so after the tone, please leave your name and number, then talk briefly about your childhood and tell me what comes to mind when you hear the following words: orange... mother...unicorn...computer. I'll get back to you with my diagnosis as soon as possible.
  • The machine answering this message is connected to a 5000 volt power supply, and a relay which is wired to this small kitten. (Sound of a kitten meowing.) If you hang up before you leave a message, it will complete the circuit and fry the kitty. The choice is YOURS!
  • The President is not in his office at this time. Please leave your name, phone number, the name of the country you wish to invade, and the secret password.
  • These are the messages of Chad's answering machine. Its two semester mission: To seek out your name and your telephone number.
  • These words are lovely dark and deep, but I've got promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep, so leave a message at the beep.
  • This answering machine message is for all you psychics out there... (Long silence...) BEEP
  • This is 321-1234, and no, it's not Pete's Pizzaria. It's not the Credit Union either, and no one named Pam lives here. You can leave a message though.
  • This is a test. This is a test of the Answering Machine Broadcast System. This is only a test.
  • This is Alan. Leave me a message and tell me what I can do to... I mean, do FOR you.

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