- Black holes are where God divided by zero.
- Veni, Vidi, VD. I came, I saw, I cankered.
- I didn't climb to the top of the food chain to become a vegetarian!
- Alcohol and calculus don't mix. DON'T DRINK AND DERIVE!
- Kids in the back seat cause accidents; Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
- Money is the root of all evil. For more information, send $10 to me.
- That's not a haircut, it's a cry for help.
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