Saturday, October 22, 2011
MORE SELF ANNIHILATING SENTENCES
Are you ever stuck for words or in need of a way out of a tricky conversation? Not any more – ‘Self-Annihilating Sentences‘ are the perfect get-out clause which will instantly put an end to any argumentative or stagnant discourse!
- Disregard any further announcements; disregard any further announcements.
- In restrictive clauses, "that"is that word which should be used instead of "which".
- Never say "never."
- To be read by unauthorized people only.
- Whether you mean it or not, be sincere!
- No one can complain who has not been lost and never heard of again.
- It pays to buy things you dislike. They last much longer.
- If you don't know, why ask?
- Be realistic! Ask the impossible!
- Research administrators should support artificial intelligence. After all, what have they to lose?
TRIVIA BITS
- A golf green hole is a minimum of 4 inches.
- A H I M O T U V W X Y are the symmetric capital letters in the Roman alphabet. i l o t u v w x are the symmetric lower case letters in the Roman alphabet.
- A hamlet is a village without a church and a town is not a city until it has a cathedral.
- A healthy individual releases 3.5 oz. of gas in a single flatulent emission, or about 17 oz. in a day.
- A honey bee must tap two million flowers to make one pound of honey.
- A human being loses an average of 40 to 100 strands of hair a day.
- A human sheds a complete layer of skin every 4 weeks.
- A hydrodaktulopsychicharmonica is a variety of musical glasses.
- A large meteorite fell in Leicestershire on 24 December 1965. Weighing over 100 pounds it is probably the largest to have fallen in Britain in modern times.
- A large whale needs more than 2 tonnes of food a day.
Friday, October 21, 2011
THINGS NOT TO HEAR DURING SURGERY
- This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
- Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
- Ya know, there's big money in kidneys... and this guy's got two of 'em.
- Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
- Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.
- What do you mean "You want a divorce"!
- FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!
- Darn! Page 147 of the manual is missing!
WESTLIFE CALLS IT A DAY!
In an official statement, the Irish band Westlife confirm that they will go their separate ways following their 2012 Greatest Hits tour.
The band’s statement reads as follows: “After 14 years, 26 Top 10 hits including 14 number one singles, 11 Top 5 albums, seven of which hit the top spot and have collectively sold over 44 million copies around the world, 10 sell out tours and countless memories that we will forever cherish, we today announce our plan to go our separate ways after a greatest hits collection this Christmas and a farewell tour next year.
“The decision is entirely amicable and after spending all of our adult life together so far, we want to have a well-earned break and look at new ventures. We see the greatest hits collection and the farewell tour as the perfect way to celebrate our incredible career along with our fans. We are really looking forward to getting out on the tour and seeing our fans one last time.”
“Over the years Westlife has become so much more to us than just a band. Westlife are a family. We would like to thank our fans who have been with us on this amazing journey and are part of our family too. We never imagined when we started out in 1998 that 14 years later we would still be recording, touring and having hits together. It has been a dream come true for all of us.”
PLACES TO VISIT … VENEZUELA
ANGEL FALLS
Angel Falls in Venezuela is the world’s highest free-falling waterfall at 979m with an uninterrupted drop of 807m. Angel Falls was officially discovered in 1933 by an American aviator, James Crawford Angel.
TRIVIA BITS
- A dog has elbows.
- A fetus acquires fingerprints at the age of three months.
- A fingernail or toenail takes about 6 months to grow from base to tip.
- A firm in Britain sold fall-out shelters for pets.
- A Flemish artist is responsible for one of the smallest paintings in history. It is a picture of a miller and his mill, and it was painted on to a grain of corn.
- A flush toilet exists that dates back to 2000 BC.
- A fully loaded supertanker travelling at normal speed takes a least twenty minutes to stop.
- A 'geep' is the resulting offspring of a sheep and a goat.
- A ghost writer pens an anonymous book.
- A giraffe's neck contains the same number of vertebrae as a human.
REMINISCING ... ROY ORBISON
Thursday, October 20, 2011
JALEEL WHITE IS BACK!
Jaleel White most notably played geeky, annoying neighbour Steve Urkel on the '90s sitcom Family Matters – but since then, the actor, who has portrayed Bruce Lee, Elvis Presley and a member of the opposite sex, doesn't feel recognized for his ability to take on a variety of roles.
"I'm very versatile, but somehow I didn't earn the tag of being called a versatile actor," White, 34, tells PEOPLE. "I'm still chasing that one Vanity Fair tag that says, 'This guy's a versatile actor.' I accept it. It's fine. But for me, it's like what do I have to do to get that [acknowledgement]?"
White, who says he gets "recognized everywhere I go," isn't big on reminiscing about the days of playing the character who made him a household name.
"I don't [miss playing Urkel]," he says. "I really don't. I'm not trying to get away from it or anything like that, but I don't miss the role at all – really. I just want to work. I want my daughter to say, 'I know what Daddy does,' not 'what Daddy did."
White – who most recently played an inmate on Fox's House, M.D. earlier this year – guest stars as a scheming wealthy director on the season premiere of fellow former child star Tatyana Ali's latest sitcom, Love That Girl!. The actor says it's "cool" sharing a screen with Ali, who he hasn't filmed with since his small stint on The Fresh Prince of Bel Air many years ago.
The episode is the first of many more roles to come, predicts White.
"I just want people to know I haven't gone anywhere," he says. "The passion was gone for awhile, but I've got my mojo back."
NEW TRAILER … “THE ADVENTURES OF TINTIN”
New theatrical trailer for Steven Spielberg's "The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn" has been debuted.
Making its way out via Apple, the two-and-a-half-minute promo video is packed with more action scenes and stunning visual effects. This new trailer put its focus on Tintin's first adventure with his trusted pal Captain Haddock, with only a few footage featuring Thomson and Thompson.
Aside from releasing the new trailer, Paramount Pictures also unleashed a new poster for "The Adventures of Tintin". The fresh one-sheet sees the protagonist standing tall with a flashlight in his hand while his trusty dog Snowy accompanies him. He looks brave against the background of a stormy sea where an ancient ship is seen burning and nearly sinking.
YOU'RE DRINKING TOO MUCH COFFEE WHEN...
- You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.
- You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.
- You name your cats "Cream" and "Sugar."
- You get drunk just so you can sober up.
- You speak perfect Arabic without ever taking a lesson.
- Your Thermos is on wheels.
- Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.
- You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
- You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
- You short out motion detectors.
- You have a conniption over spilled milk.