Tuesday, March 27, 2012

PUNS

 

  • Two Eskimos, out to fish in their canoe got cold and decided to build a small fire in the bottom of their canoe to keep warm. Of course the boat caught fire and sank, proving that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
  • I thought about starting a conversation about nuts, but then I thought, "Screw it".
  • An appeals court has upheld a ban on pitbulls. That's another victory in the war on terrier.
  • Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. However, all league records were unfortunately lost, so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
  • An Indian chief had three wives. The first wife slept on cowhide, the second wife a deerhide and the third on hippopotamus hide. The first gave birth to a baby boy, the second to a baby girl and the third had twins - a boy and a girl. Looking at what happened, the old chief declared, "The squaw on the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squaws on the other two hides!"
  • The man who survived both pepper spray and mustard gas is now well seasoned.
  • The sign at the rehab centre said "Keep Off The Grass".
  • Conjunctivitis.com is a site for sore eyes.
  • I was in a back alley in Fiji, fighting desperately and silently for my life, fighting desperately for oxygen, clawing at the calm and almost gentle pressure of the fabric held over my face by implacable, ebony thighs when I realized - he was killing me softly with his sarong.
  • The roundest knight at King Arthur's table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

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