MORE THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT WORK

 

 

• It is simple to make something complex, and complex to make something simple.
• Measurements will be quoted in the least practical unit; velocity, for example, will be measured in 'furlongs-per-fortnight'.
• An expert will always state the obvious.
• The chance a copy machine will break down is proportional to the importance of the material that needs to be copied and inversely proportional to the amount of time till the material will be needed.
• A maintenance department will neglect a customer's complaints until it starts installations on the customer's new projects.
• If it works in theory, it won't work in practice. If it works in practice, it won't work in theory.
• No matter how clever and complete your research is, there is always someone who knows more.
• The less intelligent the idea, and the person stating it, the more likely it will be funded.
• A man with one watch is certain about time. A man with two watches isn't.
• The more knowledge you gain, the less certain you are of it.
• Technicians are the only ones that don't trust technology.
• The more you want to contact someone over an instant messenger is inversely proportional to the chances that they will be online.
• The more important your email is, the worse your email program will screw it up.
• The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.