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Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
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Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a haemorrhoid when it's on the outside of your ass?
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Why it is when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
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How come we put a man on the moon before realising it would be a good idea to put wheels on suitcases?
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Why brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells are forever?
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How important someone has to be before they can be 'assassinated' rather than just plain 'murdered'?
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How come "phonetically" is spelt with a "ph"?
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Why a round pizza gets delivered in a square box?
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Why people pay to go up in tall buildings, and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
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When you get to heaven / paradise / nirvana, are you stuck wearing whatever you were buried or cremated in forever?
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