Thursday, February 7, 2013

Helping You Through Any Bad Day

 

  • If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.
  • If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.
  • If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.
  • Never introduce me to the people you're with. I have no right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.
  • Be nice to me only when the job I'm doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to manager's hell.
  • Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it's nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so many taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a good manager.
  • Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase. I'm not here for the money anyway.

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