Friday, September 6, 2013

More Common Sense Thoughts for Living


  • If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
  • One-seventh of your life is spent on Monday.
  • The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.
  • This is as bad as it can get, but don't bet on it.
  • Never wrestle with a pig: you both get all dirty, and the pig likes it.
  • Any and all compliments can be handled by simply saying "Thank you," though it helps if you say it with an American Southern accent..
  • No books will be as good as the ones you loved as a child.
  • Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables: get someone else to hold them while you chop away.
  • Never give yourself a haircut after 3 martinis, or 3 margaritas, or 3 shots of tequila.

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