More Common Sense Thoughts for Living

 

• If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
• One-seventh of your life is spent on Monday.
• The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.
• This is as bad as it can get, but don't bet on it.
• Never wrestle with a pig: you both get all dirty, and the pig likes it.
• Any and all compliments can be handled by simply saying "Thank you," though it helps if you say it with an American Southern accent..
• No books will be as good as the ones you loved as a child.
• Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables: get someone else to hold them while you chop away.
• Never give yourself a haircut after 3 martinis, or 3 margaritas, or 3 shots of tequila.