Sunday, September 8, 2013

More Resume Blunders


  • Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain operation.
  • Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.
  • It's best for employers that I not work with people.
  • Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.
  • I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant.
  • Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No Commitments.
  • I am loyal to my employer at all costs. Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail.
  • I am a quick leaner, dependable and motivated.
  • I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing.
  • As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments

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