Saturday, March 24, 2012
MEN'S RULES
- Women, learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
- Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not considered by us to be opportunities to see if we can find the perfect present again!
- Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
- Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
- Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
- Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
- We don't remember dates. . . .Period!!
- Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
- Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
- Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
TRIVIA BITS
- The first taxi with metered fares was operational in 1907.
- The first toilet being flushed in a motion picture was in Alfred Hitchcock’s movie Psycho.
- The first US president to both be sued for sexual misconduct and forced to give a deposition while in office was William Jefferson Clinton.
- The first washing machine was marketed by Hurley Machine Co in 1907.
- The first xerographic copy (prelude to photocopy) was ' 10.22.38 Astoria '
- The fissure of Rolando, would be found in the human brain.
- The flag of the Philippines is the only national flag that is flown differently during times of peace or war. A portion of the flag is blue, while the other is red. The blue portion is flown on top in time of peace and the red portion is flown in war time.
- The fleshy muscular organ joined to the hyoid bone is the tongue.
- The flights on a dart are made from turkey feathers.
- The fluorescent tube uses 20% of the power to produce an equal amount of light as a tungsten filament bulb.
Friday, March 23, 2012
NEW TRAILER FOR “THE THREE STOOGES”
A new trailer for "The Three Stooges" has been released. Being studded with nonstop slapstick humours, the trailer sees Lary, Curly and Moe playing the "original Jackasses". Multiple physical gags like eye-poking, hammer-hitting and face-slapping are highlighted in the hilarious promo video.
Left on a nun's doorstep, the dim-witted, comically-violent trio grow up finger-poking, nyuk-nyuking and woo-wooing their way to uncharted levels of knuckleheaded misadventure. Now out to save their childhood home, they become embroiled in an oddball murder plot while also stumbling into starring in a phenomenally successful TV reality show.
"The Three Stooges" is based on the mid-20th century classic comedy shorts of the same title. This reboot is directed by Bobby and Peter Farrelly. Playing the modern Larry, Moe and Curly are Sean Hayes, Chris Fiamantopoulos and Will Sasso respectively. Snooki, Jane Lynch, Sofia Vergara and Jennifer Hudson are lining up to support the film.
DEALING WITH TELEMARKETERS
- If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you sure could use some money.
- If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Alternately, you can tell them, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, and my dog just died" when they try to get to the sale, just keep talking about your problems.
- If they say they're John Doe from XYZ company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
- This works great if you are male: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ company" You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"
- Cry out in surprise, "Judy, IS that you? Oh my God, Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the heck she could know you from.
- Say "No," over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.
- If MCI or AT&T calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply in as sinister a voice as you can. "I don't have any friends. Would you be my friend?"
- If the company cleans carpets, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?"
- After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him / her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.
These are not guaranteed to work!
NEW CLUE COULD SOLVE THE AMELIA EARHART 75 YEAR OLD MYSTERY
It has been almost 75 years since Amelia set out on her ill-fated attempt to circumnavigate the globe and now a new clue could finally solve the mystery that has captivated America ever since.
After departing from Miami on June 1, 1937 in her small Electra plane, the Earhart and her crew member, Fred Noonan, made a number of stops on their 29,000 mile trip.
Now an enhanced analysis of a photo taken just months later, shows what experts think could be the landing gear.
The discovery has sparked a joint venture by the State Department, historians, scientists and salvagers from The International Group for Historic Aircraft Recovery to revisit the island in July in the hope of finding Earhart, Noonan and the doomed plane.
“The most important thing is not whether we find the ultimate answer or what we find, it is the way we look,” explained executive director of the group Ric Gillespie. “We see this opportunity to explore ... the last great American mystery of the 20th century as a vehicle for demonstrating how to go about figuring out what is true.”
Oceanographer Robert Ballard, who is most famous for discovering the wreckage of the Titanic and the Bismarck, is assisting the expedition, and has dubbed the photo a “smoking gun” that narrows the search area from tens of thousands of square miles to a manageable size.
The new group of investigators believe that Earhart, who was 39 at the time of her disappearance, crashed on a reef near the atoll then known as Gardner Island and only survived for a short time, after which the plane was swept away into the deep waters nearby.
The privately funded half-million dollar effort is expected to begin in July and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has pledged her support for the mission, revealing how Earhart was one of her childhood heroes.
"Her legacy resonates today for anyone, boys and girls, who dream for the stars," said Clinton.
Despite extensive searches of the region, no remains were ever found, sparking countless conspiracy theories including claims that the pair were U.S. government agents captured by the Japanese before World War II.