MORE FUNNY ANSWERING MACHINE MESSAGES...

 

 

• Please leave your name and number unless of course you are a salesman or trying to solicit money.
• Hello, you have reached the _______'s residence; we cannot reach the phone right now, so please leave a message after the beep. (Then you find something that makes a beeping sound, and make the beep sound, then wait 5 seconds, until they start talking, then make another beep, and do that over and over.)
• "Hi, I'm not here right now. The reason that I'm gone is because I'm trying to get away from you!"
• * In British voice* Hello! I'll be eating lunch on my yacht, but I might be able to clear my schedule if you’d like to do something.... leave me a pleasant message after the beep.
• Hello, you have reached the automated answering service for (your name), your message will be answered to in the order in which it was received, your message is number 8,243, please hold, your message is important to me.
• Sorry were not here to lend an ear so leave a word and you'll be heard
• Rub-a-dub-dub, Just got in the tub, Rick is out playing; the kids are misbehaving, and can't come to the phone.
• Hi this is Sonny and Attie's machine. Medicare didn’t send us enough money this month so we are out robbing the liquor store. If this is the police we are just napping.
• I know you're out there. I know that you're afraid. You're afraid of us. You're afraid of change. I don’t know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end, I came here to tell you how it’s going to begin. I'm going to hang up this phone, and then I'm going to show these people what you don’t want them to see. I'm going to show them a world, without you. A world without rules and controls. Without borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there, is a choice I leave to you
• Hello. I'm not at home right now because I'm out making changes in my life so leave a message and if I don't call you back, you're probably one of those changes. (BEEP)
• I'm sorry; my answering machine is out of order. May I take a message?