Saturday, May 14, 2011
In the middle of a news service you hear something and you just know that it is not right. What was meant and what was said were two different things. Here are some good examples.
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
-- Unknown. This has been attributed to: Al Gore, Bill Clinton, George Bush(Sr. and Jr.), and Dan Quayle
"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
-- Al Gore, VP
"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
-- Keppel Enderbery
"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
-- Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
-- Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
When Princess Beatrice stepped out at the royal wedding, her hat became an instant talking point — and now you could own it for yourself.
The princess' mother, Sarah Ferguson, has revealed that her daughter will be putting the hat up for auction to raise money for the charity.
"She's putting it up on eBay to auction it for UNICEF and for Children in Crisis," Sarah, the Duchess of York, said on The Oprah Winfrey Show on Wednesday.
Princess Beatrice, who is known for her over-the-top topper style, wore a Philip Treacy-designed hat to her cousin's big day. The hat is estimated to be worth around $3300.
Carbonating beverages, introducing CO2 into the drink mix under pressure, makes the drink slightly more acidic (carbonic acid), which serves to sharpen the flavor and produces a slight burning sensation. It also helps preserve the drink longer without going bad.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Thursday, May 12, 2011
The Brothers Grimm compiled 211 fairy/folk tales. The brothers Jakob and Wilhelm Grimm did not write their tales as original stories, but from folk stories handed down through the generations.
Their interest was in the early nineteenth century effort to create a German nation as at that time, modern Germany was divided into dozens of sovereign states.
Their efforts also included the creation of a German dictionary that brought together the many dialects in an effort to establish a single German language.
It's official: actor Neil Patrick Harris is returning to host the Tony Awards on June 12.
The American Theater Wing announced Tuesday that the actor is slated to host the 65th annual awards ceremony. Executive Producers Ricky Kirshner and Glenn Weiss said they were thrilled the openly gay actor and proud father of twins was returning to host because "he fits in the Spider-Man rigging."
"I'm honored and stoked to have been asked to host the 2011 Tony Awards," Harris said in a statement. "It should be a great show -- we've got a fantastic mix of live performances, a few secret surprises, and since they're closed for retooling, we're using all the rigging equipment from Spider-Man. What could possibly go wrong?"
The first time Harris hosted the awards show in 2009, he received an Emmy award for his duties.
The number of women five years older than their husbands has doubled since the early 60s.
New figures show that married women are increasingly likely to be older than their husbands. They show 26 percent of brides have a younger groom, compared with 15 percent in 1963.
One example is 29-year-old Duchess of Cambridge, who is five months older than her new husband, Prince William, 28.
There has also been an increase in the number of married ‘cougars’ — women with significantly younger “boy-toys.”
- You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
- I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
- Honk if you love peace and quiet.
- Remember half the people you know are below average.
- Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
- Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool.
- Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
The Top 20 Cool Things About a Car That Goes Faster Than the Speed of Light
Sleep 'til noon. Still get to work by 8:00am!
Doppler shift makes red traffic lights look green.
Breaking laws of physics only a misdemeanor in most states.
Never in car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.
Carl Sagan and Stephen Hawking keep bugging you to carpool.
No one can see you pick your nose while you drive.
Lunch breaks in Paris, circa 1792.
LA to Vegas in 2 nanoseconds.
You can stop worrying about being sucked into a black hole driving home from work.
You'll be so thin while driving it you can even wear horizontal stripes.
That deer in your headlights is actually behind you.
Kid from Mentos commercial almost guaranteed to lose a limb if he tries to duck through back seat.
Traffic enforcement limited to cops with PhD's in Quantum Physics.
Bugs never see you comin'.
You can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.
Can make a fortune delivering pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"
Car makes it from Hollywood to London fast enough to not arouse suspicions of Elizabeth Hurley.
License plate: "Me=mc2"
Cigarette butts don't land in the backseat -- they land in last week!
Chicks dig it.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
- A failure will not appear till a unit has passed final inspection.
- New systems generate new problems.
- To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.
- We don't know one millionth of one percent about anything.
- Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. - Arthur C. Clark
- A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working 20 years make.
- Nothing motivates a man more than to see his boss putting in an honest day's work.
The technological capabilities to keep people connected and informed is coming at a price.
The new “Digital Lifestyle Information Survey 2011″ shows the “electronic leash” appears to be getting shorter. Half of the respondents noting that their clients expect to be able to contact them at all times.
Four out of five people say they check their e-mail, “all the time,” more than three-quarters read and respond to e-mails at night and on the weekends, and 57-percent, “never turn off” their phone.
This need to be constantly plugged in is also seeping into people’s social and family life. Just under half admit, they’ll answer texts or e-mails while on a date/social occasion. Many say they’re sleeping less in an effort to stay on top of everything, and can’t keep up.
The actors have posed with 'milk moustaches' in the new Make Mine Milk promotion, similar to America's famous Got Milk? ads.
Ryan Reynolds dons his Green Lantern costume for the promotional shot, while Rupert Grint is seen with a wide grin in his picture - and the Harry Potter star hopes he can encourage fans to drink more milk.
He says, "I come from a big family and my mum always made sure we had lots of milk to drink as kids. It's low in fat, refreshing and good for you, and really tasty too. Nowadays I still have milk with cereal for breakfast and always try to pick up a milky cappuccino when I'm on set or on a photo shoot - it's important to get your daily dose of milk."
English is a complex language with so many nuances that the rules of usage are forgotten in education systems. Is that because the teachers are not competent in the usage of the language they are teaching?
Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
Avoid clichés like the plague (they're old hat).
Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
Be more or less specific.
Remarks in brackets (however relevant) are (usually) (but not always) unnecessary.