Tuesday, August 7, 2012
These woolly hair pictures by Louise Walker are so well-spun, I am convinced knitting is a great way to combat bad hair days.
What could be better after a busy day, slip into your woolly hair and hey like magic a whole new personality emerges!
- Customer: "I have a huge problem. A friend has put a screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!"
- Helpdesk: "How may I help you?" Customer: "I'm writing my first e-mail." Helpdesk: "Okay, and what seems to be the problem?" Customer: "Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?"
- No more floppy disks from home, Systems Administrator tells user whose PC keeps getting re-infected with viruses. A week goes by with no problems - then user's machine is infected again. Yes, she used a disk from home, user admits. "But I let the diskette sit on my desk for a whole week. Who knew that the virus could live that long?"
- New computer room is state of the art, beautifully laid out and stuffed with useful tools for systems management. "But the feature we're all proudest of is the fact that the card-key reader to get in is located much lower on the wall than in the old room," says Systems Administrator who works there. "Nothing to do with accessibility requirements - the sys admins were around when the electricians were hooking it up, and we requested it that way. You just bang your butt up against it, with the access key still in your back pocket, and it clicks. A great time-saver."
- Computer guy, getting ready to leave for a conference, requests a company laptop so he can stay in touch with e-mail while he's on the road. "Our department has four or five high-end laptops for visiting staff," says helpdesk, "so I figured this would not be a problem." Request denied, say the laptop keepers: "Our IT department policy is that company laptops cannot be taken out of the building."
- After a chain e-mail makes the rounds at this company, Sys Admin sends e-mail to all users reminding them that this is against company policy, quoting from the employee handbook about appropriate e-mail use. But this Systems Administrator receives an extra copy with a directive at the top: "Please print and distribute to all those employees without e-mail access."
- Working on the requirements for a new version of an order processing application, developer gets a very specific request from a user: "On the accounts receivable screen, I want the system to tell me when I have checks that I haven't deposited."
Help desk gets the call from a receptionist whose tab key on the keyboard isn't working. "I told her to shake the keyboard upside-down and tap one corner on the desk." No luck. "I then told her to pick up one end about two or three inches off the desk and drop it. Hearing a loud thud, I asked what she was doing. She said, 'I am dropping one side of the laptop they just got fixed for me yesterday."
- This university has a new voice-mail system, and tech aide watches as a vendor rep trains staffers to use it. Rep: "The first time you use your mailbox, you'll be prompted to choose and enter your password using the phone's keypad." Support staffer: "Can it be letters and numbers?" Rep: "Well, sure." Staffer: "Is it case-sensitive?"
- "When the air conditioning goes down, it gets hot in the server room - climbing to over 100 degrees. The infrastructure guys get the bright idea of opening the window - yes, this server room has a window - to cool off the room. Great idea, right? However, the lawn sprinklers go on causing two brand-new high-end servers to get wet and bringing an entire project team of over 30 people to a grinding halt.
Promoting its highly anticipated fantasy movie "The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey", Warner Bros. Pictures unleashed an alternate trailer for the Peter Jackson-directed epic film. Though it looks similar to the previously released trailer, the video offers a good look at the dwarfs and its leader Thorin Oakenshield before they take Bilbo Baggins to a perilous journey in the Middle Earth.
The first instalment of the "Hobbit" film franchise, which has recently been designed as a trilogy, will make its way out onto Australian cinema screens on December 26. It stars Martin Freeman as Bilbo, Richard Armitage as Thorin, Ian McKellen as Gandalf, and Andy Serkis as Gollum.
Director David Cronenberg has always made films his way. Maybe that’s why he has endured as his clinical approach in telling stories has made his movies interesting. ‘Cosmopolis’ is no exception with the glacially emotive characters drifting through life in a haze. Although his creative flourishes have left some unmoved, his quirky skills are to be savoured in an era of increased cinematic conformity.
Eric Packer (Robert Pattinson) is a self-made billionaire. Living in luxury and unafraid of using his wealth for increased opulence, his life is one many would envy. Whilst travelling in his limousine events suddenly spiral out of control with sex, power and murder converging. As time runs out he soon realises how little sway money brings when faced with danger.
‘Cosmopolis’ presents the chilliest collection of characters Cronenberg has produced. With Eric on a self-destructive path and provoking all who cross his path, his cold manner would make watching him rather unbearable. Occasionally it is with Cronenberg’s self-indulgent script refusing to emotionally connect. This dis-regard for character motivation isn’t anything new although even at its most infuriating it is difficult not to be intrigued as to where the story may lead.
Succeeding at inhabiting his strange role Pattinson manages not to look too lost in the increasingly complex script. He works well against a strong cast attempting to convey their character’s empty existence. The blending of their wealthy life-style and anti-capitalism protestors shows successfully the closeted world in which they reside and how outside forces determine to undermine it.
Crafting yet another puzzling movie, Cronenberg ensures ‘Cosmopolis’ stays with you. Whilst having its problems even a lukewarm effort from him maintains engagement and he again places his unique stamp on yet another enigmatic enterprise.
Movie Review Rating 6 / 10
Movie Review by Patrick Moore
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Patrick Moore's Movie Review is an alternative look at current movie releases in Australia.
This is a new, refreshing recording, including a collection of covers and original pieces sung as only Linda can. With a voice that is more powerful and resonant than Barbra's, Linda Eder delivers a knockout with every single track on this CD. Any connoisseur of fine music and vocal stylings should get this recording. From the perfectly-timed, poignant If I Had My Way and the well-arranged Here Comes the Sun to the stunning title track, this is a gem of an album.
1. Here Comes The Sun
2. How Little We Know
3. Until I Don't Love You Anymore
4. Son Of A Preacher Man
5. If I Should Lose My Way
6. Gently Break My Heart
7. Everything That's Wrong
8. Drift Away
9. Across The Water
10. Her Gypsy Heart
11. How In The World
12. We're All Alone
14. If I Had My Way
- To buy Bond Street on a London Monopoly board you will need to pay out GBP320.
- The Great Bear Lake is in Canada.
- In the popular comedy series The Black Adder, the title role was played by Rowan Atkinson.
- Mad Hatter’s Disease is caused by contact with the element mercury.
- The South American capital Quito (Ecuador) is named after the Quitu people.
- WHO, the United Nations agency, stand for World Health Organisation.
- Nine series of the sci-fi TV series The X-Files featuring Fox Mulder (David Duchovny) and Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson) were produced.
- Vulcan is a name shared by a Kawasaki motor cycle, a bomber and a fictional humanoid species.
- NASA Scientists estimated in 2006 that a golf ball travelled more than 1.6 million kms after being struck by Russian cosmonaut Mikhal Tyrurin.
- In 1867 Russia sold Alaska to the USA under The Alaska Purchase being the acquisition of the Alaska territory by the United States from Russia by a treaty ratified by the US Senate. The transfer ceremony took place in Sitka on October 18, 1867. Russian and American soldiers paraded in front of the governor’s house; the Russian flag was lowered and the American flag raised amid peals of artillery.
Monday, August 6, 2012
Often words in a modern society take on new, different and somewhat humorous meanings.
SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.
Stalemate: An old spouse.
Stress Puppy: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiney.
Subdued: Like, a guy, like, who works on one of those, like, submarines, man.
Sudafed: Bringing litigation against a government official.
Swipeout: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
Syndrome: Committing wrongdoing in the Vatican.
Syntax: Money in the collection plate.
These cosy dates come from a Los Angeles club called the Crescendo in 1961 and 1962, two of Ella's peak years. Only one of the pristine tracks has ever been released. Why did Verve take nearly half a century to put out this treasure?
It's a case of more profitable material, a wealth of studio recordings, crowding out excellent performances that could have been a hit originally. Alas, producer Norman Granz gave them short shrift: a single poorly-selected and poorly-mastered album that flopped commercially.
The tapes sank into the vaults, not to be unearthed until jazz researcher Phil Schaap dug into the archives in 1988. He found 14 hours of California recordings made over 12 days, along with unheard live sets recorded in Rome and Chicago in 1958. At that point, Verve released a single CD, "Ella in Rome," which was a huge success, but then the label got busy with rereleases of her songbook series.
Finally Richard Seidel, the producer of this boxed set, listened to the tapes and decided to assemble four CDs containing 76 songs both swinging and sentimental. Ella is a joy throughout: creative and playful in her phrasing and scatting, by turns relaxed and spirited in her mood. She even succeeds at the blues, a form for which she was not particularly known.
What are you waiting for? This is a glorious find and an essential acquisition for the Fitzgerald fan.
01 - Introduction
02 - Lover Come Back To Me
03 - Too Close For Comfort
04 - Little White Lies
05 - On The Sunny Side Of The Street
06 - Ac-cent-tchu-ate The Positive
07 - Baby, Won't You Please Come Home
08 - I Found A New Baby
09 - On A Slow Boat To China
10 - My Heart Belongs To Daddy
11 - Perdido
12 - I've Got A Crush On You
13 - But Not For Me
14 - You Brought A New Kind Of Love To Me
15 - Across The Alley From The Alamo
16 - I'm Glad There Is You
17 - 'Round Midnight
18 - Take The 'A' Train
19 - Mr. Paganini
01 - Nice Work If You Can Get It
02 - I Can't Get Started
03 - Give Me The Simple Life
04 - Caravan
05 - One For My Baby
06 - Lorelei
07 - A-Tisket, A-Tasket
08 - Witchcraft
09 - Gone With The Wind
10 - Happiness Is Just A Thing Called Joe
11 - It's De-Lovely
12 - The Lady Is A Tramp
13 - That Old Black Magic
14 - Lullaby Of Birdland
15 - Ella Introduces The Band
16 - Imagination
17 - Blue Moon
18 - Joe Williams' Blues
01 - The Lady's In Love With You
02 - Love Is Here To Stay
03 - Come Rain Or Come Shine
04 - Anything Goes
05 - This Could Be The Start Of Something Big
06 - Candy
07 - Little Girl Blue
08 - You're Driving Me Crazy
09 - It's All Right With Me
10 - Just Squeeze Me (But Please Don't Tease Me)
11 - 'S Wonderful
12 - How High The Moon
13 - Deep Purple
14 - In The Wee Small Hours Of The Morning
15 - Mack The Knife
16 - Exactly Like You
17 - Rock It For Me
18 - Stompin' At The Savoy
19 - Love For Sale
20 - St. Louis Blues
01 - All Of Me
02 - Hard Hearted Hannah
03 - Broadway
04 - My Kind Of Boy
05 - It Had To Be You
06 - C'est Magnifique
07 - How Long Has This Been Going On
08 - When Your Lover Has Gone
09 - Taking A Chance On Love
10 - Good Morning Heartache
11 - Clap Hands! Here Comes Charlie!
12 - Hallelujah I Love Him So
13 - Angel Eyes
14 - Ol' Man Mose
15 - Teach Me Tonight
16 - Too Darn Hot Ella's Twist
17 - Too Darn Hot
18 - Bewitched
19 - Bill Bailey
20 - Bill Bailey (Reprise)
CD’s 1 & 2
CD’s 3 & 4
COMPLETE BOX SET