Friday, June 24, 2011

MORE FUNNY ANSWERING MACHINE MESSAGES...

 

  • Hello. This is Mark and Nathan's phone. We're not here right now, but the phone is.
  • Hello. This is Ron's answering machine, Marvin, and I'm SO depressed. I have 50,000 times the memory capacity of my owner, but all I get to do is answer the phone. Life. Don't talk to me about life. Just leave your name and number after the beep. Here comes the beep, God how I hate that beep, it's so cheery sounding.
  • Hello. You are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.
  • Hello? (short pause) Hellooo? (Waits again) Helloooo - Who is this?
  • Hellooo....Hellloooo, well if you won't talk to me maybe you'll talk to this machine, it's at home and I'm not, leave a message and it'll give it to me when I return.
  • Hi there. This is Joe speaking. I'm home right now, and in a moment, I'll have a decision to make. Leave your name and number and I'll be thinking about it...
  • Hi this is ____'s machine. My name is (pause) well that's not important. (Pause) Ya know it gets very lonely being here all day. (Pause) maybe you could stay and talk. (Pause) please talk to me after the beep, please talk to me after the beep ........... BEEP!!!!!!!!!!!

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