If you are obsessive-compulsive......
please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent......
please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities......
press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional......
we know who you are and what you want.
Just stay on the line while we trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic......
listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive......
it doesn't matter which number you press.
No one will answer.
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