- I was more nervous than a ceiling fan storeowner with a comb-over.
- Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
- If you think there is good in everybody then you obviously haven't met everybody.
- If you can't convince them, confuse them.
- All power corrupts. Absolute power is pretty neat, though.
- If your feet smell and your nose runs, you're built upside down.
- Here I am! What are your other two wishes?
- A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
- Confession is good for the soul but bad for your career.
- Gargling is a good way to see if your throat leaks.
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