“Life get’s tedious don’t it” sang Carson Robinson in the 1940’s. Ordering pizza can be so repetitious ... so .... put some fun into it!
- If using a touch-tone press 9-1-1 every 5 seconds throughout the order.
- After ordering, say "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cut-off.
- Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry."
- State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.
- Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a description to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.
- Say "Kssssssssssssssht" rather loudly into the phone. Ask if they felt that.
- Detect the order taker's psychic aura. Use it to your advantage.
- When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.
- Learn to play a blues riff on the harmonica. Stop talking at regular intervals to play it.
- Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.
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