- Which one of these is the non-smoking lifeboat?
- Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence.
- I had amnesia once - maybe twice.
- Originality is the art of concealing your sources.
- Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
- All I ask is a chance to prove money can't make me happy.
- Wear a watch and you'll always know what time it is. Wear two watches and you'll never be sure.
- How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
- Teach a child to be polite and courteous, and when he grows up, he'll never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.
- Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
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