Is That The Help Desk?

 

• A user calls the support desk and reports she's having trouble powering up her new laptop. She says the battery is good; she used it last night. The tech desk asks, "Is the laptop plugged in?" The user says, "How do I determine if it's plugged in?"
• A user with a problem calls the help desk, saying "An error message just popped up. It's asking for me to hit OK or cancel. What should I do?" The tech rep says, "Click Cancel." The user promptly states, "Well, I already clicked OK!"
• "I know you'll think I'm crazy, but Elvis keeps crashing my computer," this user tells help desk. And she's right - when she takes a CD-ROM out of the drive, Elvis starts singing. It was finally figured out: Apparently, she put an Elvis CD in the drive on top of another CD, and it got stuck on the plunger of the CD-ROM drive. When she took out a CD, Auto-run would start the audio CD (stuck on the plunger), and Elvis started singing!
• User tells support tech that she knocked a key off her laptop. She replaced it, but now it won't work. Tech asks, "is the key loose?" "Not now," user replies. "It was loose, but I fixed it. I used super glue."
• Phone system administrator reports a problem to vendor: He can't connect to the system remotely for monitoring and maintenance. Help desk: "Fine; a technician will remote into your system and fix the problem." Admin: "But I'm reporting that we can't remote in." Help desk: "Yes, that's on the ticket. I'll give it to the tech and he'll remote into your system and fix the problem."
• Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.
• A manufacturer generates bar codes for different departments, and though no two formats are alike, they all get done, until one manager's sample bar code doesn't scan. "Even our best scanner beeped back an error," tech says. So he calls the manager, who admits he created it with a drawing program. "We don't really use bar codes," he confides. "We just thought it would look professional."
• Employees who travel are literally destroying their laptops, technician says. So when one vendor rep says his laptop can be thrown to the floor without damage - "try it," he says - tech is impressed and asks the agency head to come see. "The head guy walks into this office without a word, picks up the laptop and slams it to the floor, just as my assistant informs him we are in the office next door."
• IT tech rep sends a report to several accountants in two parts - he has to break it up because it's bigger than the 1,500KB size limit on attachments. But one user says that's unnecessary. "Quit sending me kilobyte files", she says. "Send megabytes. The file will only be 1.5MB - much smaller than the 1,500 system limit."
• A lady was putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. I inquired as to what she was doing and she said she was shopping on the internet, and they asked for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."