Friday, June 15, 2012



  • My mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.
  • Senior Citizen: Give me my damn discount!
  • (Spotted on a passing motorcycle): If you can read this, my wife fell off!
  • I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now.
  • I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.
  • Anything not worth doing is not worth doing well.
  • A day without sunshine is like night.
  • First things first, but not necessarily in that order.
  • Old age comes at a bad time.
  • In America, anyone can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
  • You're just jealous because the voices only talk to ME

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